Bachelorette Recap: Pity Party

Okay ladies and gents, we’re onto week 3 of The Bachelorette, which means producers are comfortable enough sprinkling in B-list celebrity couples and weird sponsored content into Hannah’s search for love, and that’s exactly what we got.

We get thrown right into the first group date, which is a bizarre lesson on babies with the guy from American Pie and his wife…. seriously WHO is writing up these dates at ABC? After some questions about the female anatomy, that everyone fails miserably at, the guys are given labor simulation. It’s the only redeeming quality of the date because I  got a sick pleasure out of watching John Paul Jones basically sit in an electric chair.

During the cocktail hour, Cam (and his blazer/hoodie combo) decide to be literally the most annoying human in the world while Mike receives the group date rose. For as much as I   don’t like her, she is good at picking the right person for the group date rose, thus far.

The following day, we’re simply shown a random ambluence and then a quick clip of Hannah getting an IV of fluid, and not like those ones that influencers get in Miami after a night out. Her one-on-one date with Connor S. quickly turns into him running to the grocery store to get her soup and some cheap flowers. She says she woke up and immediately “passed out”…. you mean you fell back asleep? It was unclear, but I’m assuming the boat/helicpopter/limo driver of the day had to cancel and they needed an excuse.

…a post-it on a house plant….how romantic

She needs her rest so Connor leaves but on his way out, writes in chicken scratch all of his favorite qualities about her on post-its. She later finds them and loves the attention so much, she brings him back out for a completely planned surprise concert of Lukas Graham (who has one of the most annoying voices IMO)  and he gets a rose.

At the second group date, it’s another ANTM homage with a photoshoot, with some Zoolander ripoff “creative director” but we’re quickly reminded that they’re shooting with animals because SECRET LIFE OF PETS 2 debuts in theaters on June 7! Don’t get me wrong, I  love a good animated movie about animals, but this was just a CHEAP move on everyone’s part.

Another cheap move…. Luke being a psycho controlling boyfriend the entire photoshoot and well into the cocktail portion. Finally Hannah started to realize Luke has no chill and he’s quickly cock blocked by everyone including her. The pilot gets the group date rose, but only after using every cheesy pilot pun he can.

please make it stop

The next day, Chris Harrison tells the boys it’s time for a tailgate in lieu of a cocktail party, and they all start to orgasm at the idea of playing corn hole. It’s during this outing that Cam goes for a “pity rose” by telling Hannah about this possible amputation/grandparent dying/giving up a 10 month old puppy saga and it almost works until Mike snitches on him.

Before Cam’s elimination (thank god), Hannah does delivery a subtle read, a skill she’s actually quite good at.

So no pity here, and we’re rewarded for our troubles with a clip for next week and the season. I  will say, based off what’s to come, Hannah has more drama in one hair extension than Becca had in her entire body, she knows what the viewers want.

Role Tide err… Chicken Nugget Count: Seriously, why are Chicken Nuggets getting this much air time?! Not that I’m complaining, but let’s get a Chick-Fil-A sponsored date, not Secret Life of Pets 2.

 Rose: I  love a good snitch, so Mike’s willingness to throw Cam right under the bus is a great reason to keep her around longer

Thorn: The fact that Hannah just causally throws out that Tyler G. (the lego block head who got the first one-on one) “had to leave” this week and we get no explanation. Some online articles are saying he’s a PSYCHO but I’d love to confirm that STAT

Next week it looks like they head to Boston and Jed gets a One-on-one date… so you know I’ll be there.

Until then,

TW

 

Bachelorette Recap: Mr. Wrong

The first full night in the Bachelorette mansion has finished and we’re back for Week 2 of Hannah’s search for anyone but Luke P. love! After skipping around the mansion, she’s ready to get the party started with her first official group date.

Our first group date of the season is none other than a Hannah themed affair, a pageant! This “Mr. Right” Pageant is pretty wrong in general, but is saved for two reasons and two reasons only. 1. Producers decide to class up the joint with real talent and entertainment with Drag Stars Alyssa Edwards and Alaska of Drag Race fame and none other than ANTM’s Miss Jay. (It’s as if my crossover dreams came true, now only if Tyra herself was doing the rose ceremony)

Shante only these three stay

When Alyssa let’s them know they’ll be wearing speedos and performing a talent, my eyes start to roll. But then I  realize that Jed is on the date and then I’m quickly forgiving producers and Hannah for such a christ trap of a date.

To refresh your memory, this is Jed:

I  digress, Jed and some of the others impress and then we’re forced to watch Luke P, who decided his talent is literally telling Hannah he loves her…. it’s been 48 hours honey…. CALM DOWN. WE’VE GOT A STAGE 5 CLINGER.

Hannah and the judges are too blinded by Luke’s abs to remember Jed just did a great job being a second rate Justin Timberlake and is awarded “Mr. Wrong Right.” Luckily it doesn’t matter because Jed wins the first date rose, and that is the finest justice served.

Back at the frat house…errr… mansion, the first one on one date card is read aloud and it’s going to….. Tyler G. I  know what you’re thinking…. WHO? Literally unclear but Hannah calls him a hotter Tim Tebow so sure, let’s go with it. A mud slinging date (where she’s forced to wear all white) ends with a kiss and him saying he’s feeling very connected to her. I’ll point out he’s never looked at her in the eyes once. Classic.

It’s like they’re trying to annoy me with these little bits.

Now it’s time for the second group date, and the junior varsity suitors get to roll around a roller derby and bust their ass for no reason whatsoever. After the outing, they’re taking to that weird abandoned vintage furniture store in LA that literally EVERY season of this show goes too. Does ABC own this place?

It’s all going smoothly and then weird AF Cam shows up to “ABC” (always be Cam) and brings the most pathetic grocery store floral bouquet to surprise Hannah. It goes over like you’d think with the other guys. Basically every guy confronted Cam but no one threw a punch so it felt pointless to me.

As the rose ceremony approaches Hannah B comes in with another dress that’s got a GIANT slit on the side, (is this her signature?) and starts to cry because she’s so happy. She’s soooooo extra. She talks to all the guys and we get this pathetic moment.

I’d say no, only accepting ranch for anyone wondering!

I   can’t forget that Hannah goes XXX with Luke P. taking off his shirt during the cocktail hour and our beloved Jed is subject to being told by producers to walk in walking in on it. She looked like an idiot and Luke is still the worst.

It’s time to make another cut and unfortunately Cam STAYS! But we knew this, as he’ll probably be on a 2-on-1 where he’ll get humiliated, left on a volcano or trapped in a well… whatever the producers find most fitting.

Roll Tide Counter: 0?! Kinda shocked, maybe we should change this to “y’all” because I  know we’d have plenty of those.

Rose: Jed, this might turn into a Jed fan page. I’m just wondering if an EP about this “journey” is gonna be linked in his Insta bio soon.

Thorn: Luke, this might into a anti-Luke fan page. I  cannot wait till he is exposed for the little psychopath he is.

So far, so entertained. Jed is in, we have a few villains and she’s cried so the formula is in tact. Looking forward to see what’s next!

Until then,

TW

Bachelorette Recap: Let the tide roll in

***siggghhhhhhhh**** We’re back folks. The BACHELORETTE has returned and has arrived in all of itss well edited and manufactured glory. After suffering from a pretty dull season last year (sorry Becca) and just a straight up annoying season of the Bachelor more recently (not sorry Colton) we’re finally getting rewarded  more punishment with Hannah B, the roll tide princess who could barely make a toast and is known for her lion roar.

The night begins with some dreaded b-roll of Hannah rolling around in the fields of Alabama (America’s new least favorite state) and being “quirky” and “awkward.” That’s gonna get old real quick, let me tell you. We’re forced to relive the moment Chris Harrison tells her she’s gonna be the Bachelorette (and never work a day in her life while simultaneously promoting DIFF Eyewear, etc.)

So lets get to the first night, after strapping on her sequin dress with the help of Demi (miss you) and Katie, she’s ready to meet her suitors. First, we get a few highlights and public enemy #1 is 100%, Luke P. aka Colton Jr. After basically calling himself hot and then finding God, I’ve already had enough. More on him later.

He already got a copy and paste job of Colton’s Shower scene *eye roll*

Okay, limo reveals…. an Alabama guy is first, no surprise. Then she get’s this string of literal dorks, who can barely utter out the words “Hi, I’m …….” If this was done to make her look better, it worked…. almost. Finally, amongst the trash, the only thing worth looking at, in my opinion, Jed comes through, our resident hot musician from Nashville who’s instagram profile includes a Spotify link. I was all in until he goes:

He’s cancelled… until I  realize he’s still the only decent looking one next week. After him we get John Paul Jones and this Chicago douche who pops out of a box. He was trying so hard to be grocery store Joe, and so horribly failing at it.

Once she clinks some glasses with the group, Luke P. scoops her up like a vulture. Meanwhile, Demi and Katie return in a giant van to go all Maury Povich/Cheaters on Scott who clearly was dating someone back home. This felt extremely staged, again, to make Hannah look better. So after she goes all back woods on him, she throws him out literally, and I  wish she used this approach on 10 others.

Since that drama took over an hour, everyone who didn’t get to talk to her is shit outta luck. It’s already time for the rose ceremony. PS-She gave annoying AF Luke the first impression rose.

So at the end of night one, not speaking to everyone worked against some early favorites including the farmer who knows sign language and the other pilot, seriously, what was up with the pissing contest between the pilots?

The preview for the season looks like a lot of her annoying accent with make-outs and man fights sprinkled throughout. I’m very curious how this season will play out, for now:

Roll Tide Counter: Like Colton’s virgin counter, I’m going with a roll tide version and in night one, we got about 15

Rose: Old Matt Donald, or whatever his name was, was such a sweetheart I’m sad that he wasn’t given another week. Here’s to hoping we get him in Paradise

Thorn: The fact that she gave Cam from After the Final Rose a rose, and now he continues to believe he’s actually a good rapper/match for her.

See you next week for the start of something new… and probably awful!

-TW

Apartment Inspiration

Exciting things are around the corner, or should I say, the block! As of May, I’ll be moving into a new apartment and I could not be more thrilled. Since choosing my new apartment, I’ve been on a steady diet of online shopping at West Elm, combing through catalogs and scrolling Instagram for hours for inspiration.

Having a new place means a fresh start and as much as I’ve loved my apartment, gallery wall and current layout, I thought it might be fun to share some inspiration and trends that I’m planning to incorporate into my new place next month.

Color Shift:

I’m a firm believer of “throw what you know” or better yet, “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it.” When it comes to paint colors, I definitely play by these rules. I’ve had a blue bedroom for most of my life, and in my current apartment a blue accent wall in my living room. Instead of going for the exact navy color next time, I’m thinking of shifting to a softer hue and painting only half way up the wall. For my bedroom, I’m considering transitioning from a charcoal color to a lighter grey or blue.

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Loving this “at home try on” approach from Backdrop. (image: instagram.com/backdrop/

I’ve been playing around on Backdrop, a new paint brand that let’s you get large swatches, like the Warby Parker of paint, before choosing your colors. A few trendy colors I’ve been seeing are hunter greens, dusty rose, and icy blues.

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Loving this approach to color at Publishing House BNB in Chicago 

Lots of Luxe Fabrics 

Just like your closet, sometimes your space calls for an upgrade. Like a new leather jacket, the power of a luxe fabric can do wonders. Right now my mission is find the perfect leather couch and I’ve already invested in a velvet headboard for my bedroom. Velvet has been popping up everywhere, pillows, couches, bedrooms and armchairs, and I’m into it!

Bold and Bright Accessories (in bulk) 

I’ve seen a lot of bloggers and people buy furniture from a bigger name brand store and call it a day. Sure it looks good, and right out of a magazine (because it probably is) but it’s the styling that makes it your own! Minimalism may have been “in” the past few years, but maximalism has returned for 2019.

“Memphis style” is popular this year, which brings back the idea of bright and colorful accessories throughout the room, in unique shapes with an 80s flair. Even though I   won’t be adding a bunch of 80s decor to my space, I’ll be looking for a few vintage pieces, glassware and other trinkets to have throughout.

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A full look with plenty of layers of styling, and pops of color (image: decoraid.com)

These are just a few trends and thoughts I’ve seen and hope to implement towards my next place! What trends are you seeing and using in your spaces? I’m getting so excited for this change, and can’t wait to start showing what I’ve chosen to add to my new apartment very soon. Keep following along for more updates!

-TW

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Floral Fundamentals

Floral Fundamentals

In the words of Miranda Priestly… “Florals for spring…. groundbreaking.” An iconic line, but an accurate one none the less. But would it be spring without a post about floral prints…. not even close. If the trend isn’t broke, then don’t fix it, right?

Instead of going for my usual bright and cheery floral prints I’m leaning towards a darker and moodier option from Zara. Picked up at the end of the holiday season, I  was immediately drawn to this piece because it reminded me of a water color painting and also looked like a more luxe approach to a spring and summer staple.

CallieCraigWinter-63

I  always feel like Zara does a great job of making something look more expensive than it really is 😉 (that’s always the goal when I’m shopping) So instead of dropping a fortune at All Saints, this seemed like the perfect fit. As it’s been a colder spring anyway, this print transitions perfectly into the season.

With black jeans, it’s a great option for going out, but I’m excited to pair it with a bomber or blazer for a nice pop of color and pattern. Being from Zara, that means I’ve seen this top on others, and it honestly fits nicely on every body shape as it’s a bit loose.

CallieCraigWinter-60

Although floral prints might not be “groundbreaking” there is always a way to break new ground on how you approach a trend. For me, it’s taking a more dramatic route with a classic. I’m not sure about you, but I’m READY to start wearing spring clothes, it’s practically April, let’s get this season in bloom.

-TW

Blogger’s Block

Blogger’s Block

Writer’s block has gotten to me lately, but it’s not just writing, it’s creativity in general. If you do follow along with me, I’ve been pretty quite on the blog and instagram the past couple of months, unless it’s Bachelor related of course. Keeping up with a blog and creating articles, photos and other creative endeavors is something I’ve mentioned being difficult before.

There are a few reasons that have contributed to this “blogger’s block” we’ll say, and sometimes I  believe just naming the issue is the best way to get over it. A few months ago I wrote a post about what I  deem a “blog eat blog” world that I feel like I’m living in. Where even though we’re telling ourselves it’s a community of people of like interest, there is a silent competition on the platform as well. Let’s be honest, who ISN’T writing a blog these days or being an “influencer/content creator”?

I kept on coming to my draft page and quickly shutting the computer lid before typing a sentence. Immediately, I would say to myself “who cares, TW?” “is anyone reading this?” “there are dozens of other blogs they’re going to” or “you’re a dime a dozen.”

I’ve just realized there are two big issues with this frame of mind. One is that I was being  petty. It’s extremely unproductive for me to mock the fact that my peers use the same tools to share their voice. Why does that have to my influence or hinder my creative process? It doesn’t.

The second issue is the negative self talk. I’ve been reading The Defining Decade, listening to podcasts and talking to people like my favorite blogger babe, Megan Prokott, and remembering why I  wanted to blog in the first place. I  wanted to create, I  wanted to share my voice. I’m not why everyone one else is blogging, posting collaborations on instagram, and it really shouldn’t matter.

For me, it was always just about wanting to create and share what my eye sees, because even it’s just a handful of people looking at it, that was enough for me. I get tripped up on Instagram, because it’s trained me to believe a sponsored post is what makes you “creative”, and even though it can be, I  know that not what it represented to me.

Right now I’m throwing myself into work projects and waiting for the cold weather to break, slowly but surely finding new sources of inspiration. Right now I’ve been reading, watching home design shows, and keeping my eyes and ears open to see what’ll spark creativity next.

I’m realizing that like most things in life, I  don’t need to structure it around a time line. As Marie Kondo would ask “does it spark joy?” and for me, sharing my photography, outfits and ideas is what sparks joy, no matter the outcome. I  love showing how I  see color, how I  live in Chicago and that’s what I want to get back to.

Here’s to getting back into the swing of things,

TW

The Bachelor Recap: Cry Me A River

Alright friends, we’ve FINALLY made it to the end of Colton’s “journey” and man has it been exhausting. We’ve seen Demi fight with “cougars”, beauty pageant queens bicker, Colton jump a fence, and a whole lot of editing of bad b-roll.

This is a 2 day, 4 hour finale (which in my opinion could be wrapped up in 10 minutes) begins with a Ghost-Hunters type search for Colton, who is ready to go pull a Homeward Bound and kiss Bachelor Nation goodbye with a lot of tears. Chris Harrison pulls him back and gets him to talk out his issues. Colton decides he’s ready to throw the deuces up to Tayshia and Hannah G, because he can “read people really well” and knows Cassie loves him…..are we watching the same show?

Colton being a good reader like….

Image result for paris hilton reading

First up, is Tayshia, who is honestly too nice and sweet to Colton for giving her a pretty bland and generic break up. She wants to get dumped off camera, which… is not how this works sweetie, hate to break it to ya. Colton continues to sob and shake, of course. She sits down with Chris after the final rose and it’s also pretty generic. The only thing that wasn’t pretty generic was Colton’s new boy-band hair cut. Step AWAY from the hair wax Colton, for all our sakes.

It’s a no for me, Colton.

Hannah G, who we really haven’t seen since night one, is finally back and she’s been scribbling “Future Mrs. Colton Underwood” into her journal before opening the door to her demise. Colton tells her that he thought it would be Hannah in the end but loves Cassie. This feels like Bambi watching her mom die all over again. At the after-show, she serves us an off the shoulder dress, chandelier earrings and a lot of …. filler? Seriously her face was not moving all night.

*not in reference to this experience, her feelings for him, or her upper lip.

So once both losers are put out to Paradise pasture, we finally get Colton going back to Cassie’s suite to win her back. (Enter Night 2) Cassie, who has the emotional intelligence of a 8 year old, is still undecided and giggling through his confession that he shipped the other two off.

We’re then subjected to a minor grilling by his mom, his dad crying (we see where he gets it), and a rock climbing date, before the producers are thrown out for their fantasy suite date! The next morning, Colton gets to wash off the filth of last night, but he feels like a changed man, so that puts the virgin issue to bed, pun intended.

So then why are we watching this show?!?!

Chris Harrison sits down with the happy couple who are “taking it day by day” and aren’t living together, aren’t engaged and have only spent their time since the show doing yoga and incorrectly learning sign language. I’m sure this will serve them well for their People Magazine cover we’ll be forced to read next week.

Colton’s chapter has closed, and Chris tells us that the next Bachelorette will be….. HANNAH B! As my 1st place tie for my least favorite girl this season, (three way between her, Caelynn and Cassie), I’m pretty disturbed that ROLL TIDE PRINCESS gets a chance to “find her person.” Perhaps the biggest issue is that girlfriend can barely speak on camera.

Me when Hannah B walked out as The Bachelorette:

So in review for the season:

Virgin Count: Infinity and Beyond, but I’ll be switching this out for a Roll Tide count with Hannah.

Thorn: It’s hard to decide between Colton, Cassie, half the cast, the fashion choices, or maybe it’s Bachelor Producers forcing their weird “panels” of Bachelor rejects coming together to give us some ESPN style breakdown of everything I’m watching. Seriously, is Ben Higgins being paid by the hour? Is this a tax write off for him?

Rose: All of us, who have cringed, laughed, thrown our remotes and rolled our eyes through this long and difficult time. Will this show ever return to it’s glory days? No. Will we watch it and enjoy the “journey” of loathing these people? Absolutely.

In the words from the freaky suitor she gave a rose to, next season will be a:

Until the next “most dramatic” season of this shit show, enjoy the off season before Hannah B ruins this franchise once and for all! Thank you for watching and reading along with me.

-TW