Blogger’s Block

Blogger’s Block

Writer’s block has gotten to me lately, but it’s not just writing, it’s creativity in general. If you do follow along with me, I’ve been pretty quite on the blog and instagram the past couple of months, unless it’s Bachelor related of course. Keeping up with a blog and creating articles, photos and other creative endeavors is something I’ve mentioned being difficult before.

There are a few reasons that have contributed to this “blogger’s block” we’ll say, and sometimes I  believe just naming the issue is the best way to get over it. A few months ago I wrote a post about what I  deem a “blog eat blog” world that I feel like I’m living in. Where even though we’re telling ourselves it’s a community of people of like interest, there is a silent competition on the platform as well. Let’s be honest, who ISN’T writing a blog these days or being an “influencer/content creator”?

I kept on coming to my draft page and quickly shutting the computer lid before typing a sentence. Immediately, I would say to myself “who cares, TW?” “is anyone reading this?” “there are dozens of other blogs they’re going to” or “you’re a dime a dozen.”

I’ve just realized there are two big issues with this frame of mind. One is that I was being  petty. It’s extremely unproductive for me to mock the fact that my peers use the same tools to share their voice. Why does that have to my influence or hinder my creative process? It doesn’t.

The second issue is the negative self talk. I’ve been reading The Defining Decade, listening to podcasts and talking to people like my favorite blogger babe, Megan Prokott, and remembering why I  wanted to blog in the first place. I  wanted to create, I  wanted to share my voice. I’m not why everyone one else is blogging, posting collaborations on instagram, and it really shouldn’t matter.

For me, it was always just about wanting to create and share what my eye sees, because even it’s just a handful of people looking at it, that was enough for me. I get tripped up on Instagram, because it’s trained me to believe a sponsored post is what makes you “creative”, and even though it can be, I  know that not what it represented to me.

Right now I’m throwing myself into work projects and waiting for the cold weather to break, slowly but surely finding new sources of inspiration. Right now I’ve been reading, watching home design shows, and keeping my eyes and ears open to see what’ll spark creativity next.

I’m realizing that like most things in life, I  don’t need to structure it around a time line. As Marie Kondo would ask “does it spark joy?” and for me, sharing my photography, outfits and ideas is what sparks joy, no matter the outcome. I  love showing how I  see color, how I  live in Chicago and that’s what I want to get back to.

Here’s to getting back into the swing of things,

TW

Hello, 2019!

Hello, 2019!

2019 has arrived! Based off social media, it seems like everyone is ready to celebrate their efforts of last year, and start working on their 2019 goals. It’s been nice to see everyone embracing change and positivity for the new year, now we’ll just have to wait and see if that lasts. 😉

Last year my goals were career focused and about being more vulnerable, and this year I’ll be focusing on other parts of my life. I always think that you should have goals that are both internal and external.

My main internal goal for 2019 is honesty. This doesn’t mean I  have a problem with being dishonest, I mean that I  want to live more honestly.  I’d like to speak up more when something is bothering me and trusting myself to reveal the truth when necessary. I think bringing together what I’ve learned about vulnerability last year with honesty this year will be a positive change. Being honest with myself means holding myself accountable for how I’m feeling, in good times and in bad.

My external goal for 2019 is money management, primarily to focus on upgrading to a more adult apartment. With better job security, I  feel like the time is right to start focusing on keeping what I’ve earned, not frivolously spending it. Having the chance to find a new place and take ownership in the process is really exciting to me.  Of course, in the interim, cutting back on shopping will be rather difficult for me.

Like I  mentioned last year, resolutions shouldn’t have a deadline. Having a new year just means a new chance to add more positive change into your life and when the year ends, you get to look back at what you’ve been able to accomplish! Sending my best to those setting out to resolve or begin new goals for 2019!

Happy New Year!

-TW

2018 in Review

2018 in Review

Every year it feels like time is moving faster, and 2018 was no exception. After a rather crazy 2017, it seems like 2018 just began, and like that, it’s over! This may have been the faster year yet, but also a really productive one.

Last year, I  laid the foundation to embrace change and vulnerability in 2018 and that’s just what I  did. When I changed my career path at the end of last year, I  had no idea of what that meant for the future. This was by far, the hardest working year I’ve had. (so far) This year, I  really saw that hard work pays off.

Although working weekends, long hours and taking on challenging projects sometimes had their downsides, the rewards were much greater. I’ve gotten to a place where I’m seeing the payoff and being appreciated for it. When you start doing something you love, success will follow. I’ve also adopted a more “work hard, play hard” attitude when it comes to vacations and time away from work. My two trips this year, to Europe and the Caribbean, were chances for me to be completely unplugged. It helped me put life in perspective.

With that being said, I’ve also learned to take certain things less seriously and let go of some of those “triggers” (my favorite 2018 buzzword) that have haunted me in the past. Life is really too short to dwell on things we can’t change and situations out of our control, like social media perceptions for example.

I feel like going into this year, I had an idea of what may have happened, but for 2019, I’m going in a bit more blind, and that’s fine with me! Less expectations means more chances to be surprised with what’s to come.

So cheers to wrapping up a year of hard work, and starting a new one! Happy New Year!

-TW

 

Out & About

Out & About

2018 is proving to be quite overwhelming, wouldn’t you say? It’s been a pretty heavy year full of social and political issues rising to the surface on what seems like a daily basis, I mean, we’re living in a time where Colton is the next Bachelor!

Jokes aside, in times like this, its sometimes nice to have reflection on something positive. Just a few years ago, I wasn’t even aware that today is National Coming Out Day, set aside to celebrate the process of coming out in the LGBT community and at a time like this, I  figured it’s nice to take a day from all the negativity we’re seeing and appreciate that I’m fortunate enough to be out and have so many great friends and a loving family that support me no matter what.

Coming out is a very personal experience, and no two stories are the same, but they are all equally important! For some people it’s painless, others, traumatizing, but each is just as brave as the next and deserves to celebrate that part of their journey of identity and self acceptance.

Let’s face it, coming out isn’t a one time gig, it happens many times, over many years. Even in 2018, given everything we hear and see on the news, it’s not exactly a welcoming environment to come out. There is a still a lot of ignorance out there, and I’ve always admired my peers who handle it with grace. I’m glad we have days like to day to celebrate such a big personal milestone for LGBT people. So thank you to all of those who support their friends and remember that you play an important role in the process. Here’s to appreciating everyone celebrating having come out, or those finding courage to come out in the future.

More posts to come soon, thanks for reading!

TW

 

 

Pride & Joy

Pride & Joy

June has arrived and that means we’re really into the swing of Summer and also the swing of Pride Month. Pride Month has a history of celebrating LGBT rights, culture and for so many including myself, is a time to reflect and celebrate how far someone has come in their lives as being a part of the LGBTQ community.

To be perfectly honest, writing about being gay and about my personal challenges isn’t as easy as writing about an outfit, but it feels like the right time.

I came out to my close family and friends two years ago, which in some ways does seem “late” but we’ll get to that later. This year, I’m feeling prouder and happier than ever with my sexuality and self confidence, but that was not always the case. Since as long as I  can remember, a lot about my personality and mannerisms were heavily critiqued and criticized by peers, both children and adults. I’ve come to realize that those negative comments about my voice being too high, my conventionally feminine interests, the way I  carried myself… (you get the picture) all made me start to believe two things: 1. that everything about me was possibly bad and 2. being gay was something to be ashamed of. I  truly felt confused and trapped, with nothing but my own negativity to surround me.

When you start thinking everyone around you doesn’t like who you are, you start to not like who you are too. That’s a really tough statement to swallow, but that’s exactly how I started to feel. To be quiet honest, I wasn’t even sure if I was gay for the longest time, but I  started to think that I couldn’t be. It was as if I didn’t want to prove to my bullies that they were right.

It’s taken me a lot of time to silence that voice in my head that said “you’re not good enough” or “you can’t be gay, it’ll give them ammunition to dislike you even more.” It took finishing high school and pretty much all of college to finally realize that the other opinions about me no longer mattered and that I  should just be happy as my true self.

In the last few years it started to click for me. All along, I’ve had a wonderful sister and father who’ve loved me since day one, never letting me do anything but be myself, 100%. I have best friends, some since 7th grade, who appreciate and value me, even when I didn’t value myself.  Most importantly, I  started to believe that I deserve to be just as happy and proud as everyone else.

Being gay has its challenges no doubt, but it’s a part of me and it’s one that I love, not something to be ashamed of. It makes me who I am and I’m proud to celebrate that, this month and every other month that follows. It’s irrelevant when I came out or if it feels “late” because everyone has their own process, which is something all gay people have in common. I  have so much respect for everyone who faces the same kinds of struggles that I have. Whether it’s reminding yourself that you’re good enough or handling public ignorance with a smile, you should be proud of yourself.

Thank you for reading this small reflection as we start a month of celebrating pride!

-TW ❤

 

 

 

Spring Forward, Fall Back

Spring Forward, Fall Back

As I mentioned earlier this month, spring is all supposed to be all about rebirth and having that awakening that would cure me of that funk February put me in. The month of March is almost over and let’s just say… I’m still in need of that cure.

We recently just experienced Daylight Savings Time and the saying goes “Spring Forward, Fall Back.” I’ve come to realize that’s basically the way I’ve been feeling recently…. falling back while trying to spring forward. I keep asking myself, how can I  stop falling… and the simple answer is… I can’t. Falling is a part of the process.

Embracing this mantra has really come to help me succeed professionally. Over the past year, I “fell” so many times as I struggled to find meaning and purpose in a job that wasn’t working for me. It was finally when I  fell the hardest that I started to spring forward and find a new path.

Now that I’ve gained great professional security, the other component of this is social security of course. (The harder of the two) I  find it so much harder to accept the falls that will come with making new connections, friends and dating. For anyone else who has had difficulties in similar areas, just know that sometimes falling only means you have another chance to get right back up.

Right now I’m feeling a little like I can’t get up, and quite frankly, like I don’t really want to, when it comes to social media. I’ve touched on this topic before but it can never be said enough. I’ve noticed myself withdrawing from posting and viewing Instagram as much because it’s all becoming too much! The constant oversharing, the daily night cream posts, the templates on your favorite things, I’m loosing my mind!

With a place like Instagram, it feels like there’s a lot of noice, but no one’s really talking. I’m working to step back on the daily mind suck of perfection I’m seeing online and focusing on the voice within to spring forward these next few months. I’ve been reminded recently that posts like these are helpful for others just as they are for myself so as always, thanks for reading along!

Life is too short to live in inauthentically, falls are going to happen, it’s about how we get up that helps us spring forward.

-TW

Spring Awakening

Spring Awakening

What a month February was…. the shortest month always feels the longest right? These monthly “check ins” on 2018 are equally rewarding and frustrating at the same time. It’s always a good idea to check in on yourself and your goals, but when they’re not going your way, it’s not so fun.

February was a month full of work, work, and more work. Just like a new semester of college, the first few weeks of a new job are seriously exhausting! I’m thrilled to say that my new job is challenging and creative, something I’ve wanted for a very long time. The balance of work and play is always more difficult for me. With longer hours, I’ve definitely made plenty of excuses when it comes to other lifestyle goals.

In true hibernation fashion, crime shows and carbs have become my new best friends. I’ve told myself that this March, I’ve got to shed some layers, and I’m not just talking about wearing less wool. Refocusing my diet, exercise plan and nightly routine are major chores, but a spring awakening might be just what the doctor ordered to turn that February rut on its head.

Just when I’ve been feeling low and a bit defeated, a close friend recently reminded me of how far I’ve come in work and in life. Support from friends is seriously underrated during times like these. Even though it’s not easy to take a compliment sometimes, it’s necessary to keep everything into perspective, because you’re only seeing one side of the story when you’re the narrator. My advice as we enter a new season (finally) is to listen when you’re being praised, whether big or small! It can be that little light you need at the end of the tunnel when it’s feeling pretty dark.

Spring is going to be about taking those positive affirmations and turning them into inspiration for new goals! Let’s hope as the season changes, our outlooks do too!

Happy March,

TW